Wednesday, April 29, 2009

aaaaaand we're back down.


haha just like I suspected, back down to normal today. wtf?

My only guess is that it was 95 degrees here yesterday - so perhaps I was hot as hell when I was sleeping but didn't realize it? LOL.

All I know is that I better start getting some CM soon. I'll take Wet CM - any CM please!! Let's get this O'ing show on tha road!!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

oh FFS, what is this?

seriously, wtf?

I'm not a charting veteran or expert - but I just feel like I FAIL at this already. How the EFF did I go from 96.5 to effing 99.8?

If I am O'ing I will be pissed because of course we didn't time anything right.

AAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHH

Thursday, April 16, 2009

BBT

last night I went out and bought a BBT. (see previous post for my totally cave-fest on temping, charting, etc.)

it's purple. OOHHH so pretty.

I set that beauty down next to the bed last night, right next to the alarm clock and water. I was all set to wake up and do my very first temp - even though AF is here and it doesn't matter - I wanted to get used to it.

6:30am rolled around...my alarm went off...

I slapped that sucker on snooze faster than anything. Thought about opening an eye so I could grab the purple thermometer - for about 2 nano-seconds, put my head back down on the pillow and passed the eff back out.

screw that! I'll start tomorrow.

*dun dun dun*

ladies and gents...I have now entered the phase of this Blog where I completely contradict myself.

I am pretty sure I'm gonna start temping.

Yep, AF showed last night :(

I was pretty upset yesterday. Uber bummed. This was definitely a cycle where things felt really "different" than the others. I totally thought we had a decent chance. I was just so frustrated. I hate that it takes so long and so much waiting, etc.

So anyway, now that it's Cycle 6, I've talked with H and he and I both agree that we can try out temping for a little while to see how it goes. What I realized is that even though I'm not taking my temp every morning, I'm still charting all my other symptoms...thus become obsessed.

So why not just take that one step further and use my temps to back up my whacky guesses for O date, etc.?

So anyway...that's what I'm doin'. Just wanted to update that no I'm not KU. I will admit, I'm starting to feel like maybe this isn't going to be easy for us. It's so easy for some - I just fear that we will not be those people that have it come easily. Lord, I hope & pray that's not the case.

Monday, April 13, 2009

my crap-tastic lazy chart.

I don't temp - get over it. Here is what we got this month:

Pay no attention to estimated O date - as it's pretty much just a guess - I know, I know, "without temping there is no way to know"...blah BLAH. I'm not asking to talk about when I O'ed/

What I am interested in, is that this month I finally had some EWCM! 2 whole days of it. Nice! It was followed by my per usual 3 days of W CM. But it was nice to see the EWCM this month. The past 3 months, my chart has only had 3 days in a row of W CM.

That's all. Just wanted to share what I had observed. Ho hum.

i am getting...FRUSTRATED!!!

i just need to vent.

it is not quite possible for my boobs to hurt anymore than they currently do - unless I start friggin producing milk (which I realize hurts like a bitch!) But seriously - they are SOO sensitive. Yesterday morning I woke up and almost cried they hurt so badly. So because of this, I let my warped mind convince me to test....again.

Yep, I POAS twice this weekend - both BFN. I know, I know, too early to test. But again it was only a $1 - and if I was going to be boozing on Saturday & Sunday, I wanted to at least make sure I wasn't being totally neglectful. Ha.

And I was using the thinking of "I've seen people on FF test this early and get their BFP!". Ha. Bad line of thinking...stay away from this mentality.

I am now off to stalk my chart on FF which hasn't changed that much. Off to determine how much longer I will wait for my next POAS adventure. I'm determined to wait until at LEAST Wednesday of this week. *twiddles thumbs*

Thursday, April 9, 2009

today I feel weak.

I don't feel week physically, so much as emotionally. Perhaps a little of both. I just need to whine a little bit right now. I have no one to whine to - and I don't want to submit anyone to this, so I will just whine on here...

My ta ta's are still sore. They could be worse, but it's getting damn annoying. If I knew they were sore for a REASON than I would 100% OK with it!! In addition, I have this continuing annoying-ass cramping going on in my ute area - and it's driving me nuts. Again - if I knew this was all for good reason than I would be just A-OK with it!

Today is approx. 7DPO. Ho hum. still quite a ways to wait until testing. I can't help but pray to everything out there that this is the cycle for us. I HOPE SO BADLY!! We haven't really been trying that long, I know this - it's basically been since the end of 2008. It would just be so nice to have a BFP so I can tell my Mom & Dad they are going to be grandparents!! Ahhh! that would be the best thing ever :)

I called my H this morning somewhat weepy telling him how much I love him. I think he hates the 2ww just as much as I do, because I'm pretty damn annoying to listen to. LOL.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

dum deee dummm

i have a dull, constant, mild cramping going on.

and my boobs are effing killing me.

most would say I am being crazy phantom symptom lady - but I can't help but think these *could* be signs of being KTFU.

I haven't been on BCP for over 2 years, so it's not like my cycles are all crazy. I am not due for AF for at least another 10 days. so why the eff my ta ta's are this sore is beyond me. mehhh.

I shall sit & wait, and drive myself bonkers until testing time is upon us.

Monday, April 6, 2009

just wanted to note for the record...

that my ta ta's are killing me. they are large & in charge. yep, larger than normal (if you can believe it). I went to fold my arms earlier and I was like, ummm OW?

and I have a bit of cramping going on.

So either I still haven't O'ed and I'm about to - or I have O'ed and am possibly KU...or MORE LIKELY I am obsessing over Phantom symptoms.

my vote is on the latter.

so...

just when I thought I was being all knowledgeable about my ute...??

I'm 99% sure that I've already O'ed this month. All my signs have come & gone - positive OPK, EWCM, Wet CM, etc. The thing that's weird is that if that is true, than I O'ed pretty early. Like, 4-5 days early?

Anyway I cannot complain because we definitely were good about our timing during those few days. So let's just hope for the best! Nothing really to report on otherwise. My boobs are starting to get sore which is again, odd for me - as my period is still a good 10+ days away. Then again, it could be due to the ridonkulous amount of yardwork that I was doing this weekend. Talk about back-breaking stuff! ugh!

so I suppose we now just sit back & relax, and wait....OH the wait. gotta love it.

Friday, April 3, 2009

week from HELL at work!!

OMG these past few weeks at work have been so effing crazy, I'm not sure I can take it much longer.

Thank GOD it's Friday today!

This weekend I am due to O, so I'm pretty excited about that :)

I have been doing very well this month tracking my CM, and using the OPK's. Still not temping - but I think I might just do so in a few more cycles if this doesn't work out. So far the hubbs & I have been pretty good about every other night, since I started with EWCM.

And for those that care (or even read this) - my EWCM was strong for 2 days - and now I'm into my usual super WET CM. Which I suppose is normal for me. Still no positive on the OPK but that's OK as I know they don't always work properly. I feel like CM is much more reliable so I'm trying to pay attention to that.