back again

woah haven't checked in for some time...

so here is where I stand. Last time I wrote on this thing I was freaked about possible abnormal cells after my Pap. Well, I went to an OB - which was great, getting established with one is always a good thing! And she was wonderful, performed exploratory biopsy, etc. Literally during the procedure, AF started. Not kidding. So that answered my question about the 2WW. (why my cycle was uber-long last month, i have no idea. the only thing I can think of was stress - the stress of over thinking everything too much).

Recovery was PAINFUL as a mofo. My vag was swollen to hell - I could barely sit down for 2 days. Good Lord I am soo sensitive down there. I think I must be crazy that I want to actually push a child out of there??

Anyway - results are in - we are GOOD! nothing wrong! All tests negative! yayyy!

so we are back at it this month. I have to say, I'm SO MUCH MORE RELAXED than last month. Not sure what got into me in January. I was thinking about it, doing OPK's, and just putting way too much thought into it. It's VERY easy to get sucked into that. I just have to remind myself, I don't WANT to be like that right now!

That being said, I think I'm getting close to the O time. Again, not charting...don't want to...you can read why HERE. We are just having a grand ol' time and seeing how it goes.

We are headed out tonight for a weekend get away. It's to one of my favorite locations, which I find very romantic...and with my O being right around the corner (aka next few days) - this could be a great thing :)

Here's hoping to this month being "the month"!!! It's weird to think that if it does become the one - we would have a November bambino. SO WEIRD to think that way! eeeek!

OK not getting my hopes up. Let's just have a great weekend together :)

the wait game...

is totally screwing with me.

I thought my wait was over, as AF seemed to be coming to town. I thought I saw a wee bit of brown spotting yesterday - which means she is comin'. But then today still nothing. My boobs are now mega-sore. The good thing is that I've pretty much convinced myself that I am not KU, so I've refrained from peeing on any sticks.

But if this lack of AF keeps up, I may have to pee on SOMETHING.

and to make things even more awesome - my DR called me yesterday w/ results from my annual pap. Told me I have abnormal cells on my cervix that need more testing. Awesome. Just what I need. A reason for something to go wrong. God that terrifies me.

Anyway, I continue to sit, and wait. Ho hum.

so given that I don't chart, I realize that I cannot technically ask this question (without being beaten mercilessly with endless snark from the Bumpies out there)....

but I am trying to figure out what the eff is up with my hoo-ha.

So I was due for AF around Feb5/6th-ish. usually leading up to the day of her arrival I have really tender boobs, some light spotting, and I can occasionally feel this ache in the old hoo-ha that says "move over beotch, AF is comin' to town and she's gonna wreak some havoc".

Having not been on BCP for over 2 years, my cycles are pretty regular. That is, they are less than 30 days, and usually it's about 20-22 days or so between my periods.

So this month, I sit around and wait. Last period was Jan 6th. I would have thought surely by now (Feb 9th) - I would at least have SOME sign that she is on her way. My ta ta's are slightly sore - but nothing outrageous. There is abosutely ZERO spotting going on. I'm clean as a whistle.

Given that I can't deal with the possibility of the unknown, I've succombed to immense pressure and peed on 3 damn sticks. All BFN. Don't worry, 2 of them were cheap. I read up enough to know that $1 store HPT's are KEY when you're a newbie pee-er like moi.

So now I'm thinking we shall continue to wait...perhaps my body is just screwing with me and being like "HA! You are now trying to pay attention to this, so we are screwing with you!! mwahahhaha" yep, that's gotta be it.

stupid ovaries.

blog title

just a heads up that the title of my blog is due to the relentless barrage of questions and innuendos I get every day from family, friends, and random strangers.

people who think it's their God-Given right for me to tell them when I will be re-producing. Nope, not gonna happen.

so here I am, blogging.

as I have no other resort or person(s) to spill this information onto, you lucky anonymous people of the World Wide Web get to hear my ramblings.

So here is the deal:

I have a hubbs. We are in lurve. We are pretty active, do lots of fun things together and love our lives but have total Baby-on-the-Brain these last few months and feel we are ready. So, what does that mean?

Does it mean I've turned into a psychotic chart-tracking fertility seeking woman? Nope. I am definitely excited, and nervous. However we are both on board for just taking things as they come and seeing how it goes for the first few months. In other words, you read me correctly - I'm NOT charting. GASP! the HORROR!! OMG!! (insert spot here for all the people on thebump.com to tell me how stupid I am for not charting.) ha.

My thing is this: will I ever chart?? maybe.

am I charting now?? Nope.

Dude, it's our first few months of letting his boys run free. Why over-complicate and add more pressure to it? If this doesn't work then I'm all for giving it a whirl. Until then....

we shall see.

and really, women & men have been procreating since the beginning of time. I'm pretty sure Eve didn't logon to FF to track her cycles and take her temp every morning. There's something to be said for giving it "the ol' college try" for a little while.

so please bear with me while I ramble on & on about my thoughts on this subject, and my new found obsession with peeing on those expensive little sticks...

EDIT: I have since clarified my position on CHARTING. Please GO HERE to read it. Thanks!