because I want to remember.

I know that this may not be the best thing for me right now. But my fear is forgetting. I don't want to forget this little one that I had inside my tummy for almost 9 weeks. I found the ultrasound in my purse today. It was done the evening I started spotting. I had not even had my first appointment with my OB yet. I was so worried - so nervous...and then they brought this up, and we saw our little pea, with a little heartbeat!


I know this looks like absolutely nothing. The baby was only measuring at 6 weeks, 2 days. It was behind. A lot. They told me I was fine, and that you never know, I could have just been off with my calculations. But I knew that wasn't true. I knew in my heart that I was right - I charted, I knew my O date - I knew when we had sex.

At any rate, I want to remember this. I don't want to forget or lose this picture. So I had to post it here. Part of me feels crazy for being so attached, but it was 9 weeks of loving & thinking about a new baby. We were shattered.