9dpo.

I am trying to hold out until Sunday, depending on temps. I am a total POAS-a-holic...but only the $1 ones. I don't dare waste a FRER or Digital :)

I have to say that my boobs hurt like A MOFO and have for days. Which has made this cycle very different for me. But meh, that could mean anything. They always get sore a few days leading up to AF. Who knows, I could start spotting soon! I just find it so odd that I O'ed on CD15 this time...who knows.

another 2ww

well here I am folks. In the midst of another 2ww!

for some unknown reason my body decided to LOVE ME and ovulate on CD15! No more waiting until CD22 to O. yay!

So today I'm 5dpo and just chuggin' along. This cycle has been pretty low key actually. Because I didn't really expect to O when I did, DH & I just had some fun crazy sex. No pressure - just good times. It actually worked out well with the timing!

The other thing that was super weird was that I had LOTS of CM this cycle. Lots of Egg-White & Wet CM. Let's hope it was for a reason...

I will try & be good this time around & update you all when I have more phantom symptoms to whine about ;)

BFN at 12dpo.

poooop!

my temp is still up at 97.70 so who knows.

I have sore boobs & gas. But those are also PMS signs. BAHHHHHH.

i suck at blogging

well, not at all blogging...I actually have a few blogs IRL that I am very active with.

I think the reason I have not updated this blog is because I just don't care...it never seems to help me in getting KU!!

Today I'm 11dpo. My chart is lookin' might fine if I do say so myself. But I cannot lie - I have pretty much no faith. OH and I bought the VIP version of FF.com - because everyone knows that once you do that, you get KU...right?

RIGHT!?!?!?!!??

my boobs

are sore. but not that sore. They've been hurting the past few days but definitely noticeable today.

Some wet CM today too. Other than that not much going on. Just waiting to see if I get a high temp tomorrow. I will be 11dpo.

I'm chalking up my boobs to PMS.

8 dpo.

either my chart is headed South for the upcoming Fall/Winter, or there is a .0001% chance that this is an implantation dip.

My guess is the first. Because all of my optimism was wasted on last month's cycle.

an update on this cycle.

so I'm on CD28 and 6DPO. It's another long cycle. I O'ed on CD22 this time.

I am really not getting my hopes up or analyzing my chart. Post O-temps can be all over the place and really, until I'm at least 10dpo it's not even something I should think about.

I cannot help but think however, that this cycle is very similar to my BFP cycle. Late ovulation, positive OPK's, lots of sex with DH...ha.

and I'm not sure if I'm just making this up (phantom symptom) but I *think* my boobs are starting to hurt. Which could mean nothing, they often hurt during PMS.

Here's hoping for the best. I'm in the 2ww - but don't expect the play by play freakout session that you got to witness last month. I'm mostly over the crazies for now. Once I hit 10dpo I think that will change.

Luckily we have lots going on this weekend so I will be distracted.

i'm done.

I cannot have any more sex this week. Just can't.

So really...if I have not ovulated yet, then fuck it. My temps aren't really rising that much so who the hell knows. I got YET ANOTHER positive OPK today, which just doesn't make sense.

I cannot believe how overly difficult getting KU actually is. How blissfully ignorant are those people who just walk by their husband and get pregnant?? Makes me sick.

afternoon delight

yes, that's right. It's come down to that.

My temps are screwing with my patience - seems my body loves to taunt me and take it's own sweet time ovulating, so we are still on the "hump like rabbits" train.

Today my H & I met up at our house for lunch and got it on. Aww yes.

Here is my chart so far this month. I'm hoping we've timed things right, and that I get a temp rise tomorrow morning. *crosses fingers for O*

CRUEL & UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT.

THE NEST IS DOWN FOR HOURS OF MAINTENANCE.

ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON DAMMIT.

I HAVE ADD AND CANNOT WORK.

How shall I get through the day!?!?!?

::runs screaming from blog::

so I do this thing...

where I get all CRAZY analyzing my chart during the 2ww. I post here like a mad woman & then when AF shows, I abandon my blog.

sorry.

I am taking a vow to not obsess over my post-O temps this time around - as really they are not always that indicative of being KU or not.

It was my 1st cycle TTC after our miscarriage. So I was a little nutty.

Moving on...

today is CD11.

i gave in.

so bad, I know. But when you have $1 tests, it's really hard to refrain from just peeing on them. "It's only a dollar..."


BFN.

Meh - to be expected. I'm not giving up hope. It's still early. My overlay chart still looks good, and even though I had a temp drop this morning - my temps are still looking high.

I have no symptoms though. Not even a sore boob. BLAH.

overlay obsession

another high temp today. I feel like these 2 cycles are looking SOOO much alike...! GAH!

hide the pee sticks.

hide 'em all.

Because I don't know how the eff I will hold out until this weekend to pee.

It's not just the high temps that are making me crazy, but it's the fact that the past 2 nights I've had to get up to pee in the middle of the night...which for me...NEVER HAPPENS. EVER.

Except for when I was KTFU. So yea, that is screwing with my already fragile 2ww mind.

Here is today's chart:

crazy, obsessive 2ww birthday lady.

yep that's me! Today is my Birthday. woot woot.

The chart is looking better. Here is my daily whoring of the chart so you can all see how lovely my temps have been lately. Followed by the traditional over-analytic psycho analysis that is ever so present with the 2ww.

(FF.com gave me a free VIP 5 day trial today. They must have totally decided to do it as a bday gift. Right.)


I like the looks of the dip yesterday. Implantation perhaps? Hmmm...

If we compare to my last BFP cycle, they are looking mighty similar...dip & all. Here is the overlay:

Houstin, we have crosshairs.

woot WOOT!!

It's about damn time. Just seeing those red lines is glorious. Makes me realize that my body is not broken after my miscarriage. I am so thankful for this. I really needed it.

Now all I need to do is not go bat-shit-crazy during this 2ww. That's going to be hard. I don't know many women that remain sane during the 2ww. *sigh*

still no crosshairs.

my chart can go DIAF.

SOOO frustrated w/ my chart.

I cannot get a temp rise for the life of me. I'm pretty much done with this cycle. The stress of TTC is just out of control. It's now causing tension between me & DH.


Why do I have a feeling that getting pg again is going to take FOREVER for me? It's not going to happen right away. I just have a feeling. I'm so over this.

all about the O.

well, it's that time. The time where I get pee & temp crazy. This weekend I started to get some EWCM and started peeing on some OPK's. Lo & behold I think I should be O'ing soon, if not today. I will admit that my chart confuses the F outta me right now. I feel like I should have O'ed already and to be honest, I wish I had because having sex all the time makes this woman TIRED.

been in a funk.

So I know that I've been in a funk lately. DH is really noticing it. I hate doing this to him. I just don't know what to do. I love him to pieces, and love being with him - but for the most part, I'm just not the happiest person these days. And now that we are back to TTC, and charting, I'm starting to put all my hopes & expectations on that, which is causing a bit more stress & anxiety. I know that I shouldn't but...ugh.

So I am trying to keep busy. But in all honesty, we've been to how many BBQ's this summer? SO MANY. And while I love seeing my friends/family - it's ALL the same. Go to party, get a beer, play some yard games, drink more beer, sit by fire, drink more beer, roast some S'mores, drink more beer. Pee 1,000 times. Go home, pass out.

I want more than that dammit. I want to be one of the people at the BBQ with my little one, running around chasing after them - or better yet, rocking them in their carriage or stroller. I want to have something MORE to live for. DH & I love each other to pieces but we are SO ready to take everything in our lives to the next level. I hate that I've always wanted to run before I could walk.

Having a baby is totally one of those things that you just have to patiently wait for in life - and that is SO hard for me. I have ADD when it comes to doing or getting things. I swear, God is trying to teach me the lesson of practicing patience. *sigh*.