BFN at 12dpo.

poooop!

my temp is still up at 97.70 so who knows.

I have sore boobs & gas. But those are also PMS signs. BAHHHHHH.

i suck at blogging

well, not at all blogging...I actually have a few blogs IRL that I am very active with.

I think the reason I have not updated this blog is because I just don't care...it never seems to help me in getting KU!!

Today I'm 11dpo. My chart is lookin' might fine if I do say so myself. But I cannot lie - I have pretty much no faith. OH and I bought the VIP version of FF.com - because everyone knows that once you do that, you get KU...right?

RIGHT!?!?!?!!??

8 dpo.

either my chart is headed South for the upcoming Fall/Winter, or there is a .0001% chance that this is an implantation dip.

My guess is the first. Because all of my optimism was wasted on last month's cycle.

i'm done.

I cannot have any more sex this week. Just can't.

So really...if I have not ovulated yet, then fuck it. My temps aren't really rising that much so who the hell knows. I got YET ANOTHER positive OPK today, which just doesn't make sense.

I cannot believe how overly difficult getting KU actually is. How blissfully ignorant are those people who just walk by their husband and get pregnant?? Makes me sick.

afternoon delight

yes, that's right. It's come down to that.

My temps are screwing with my patience - seems my body loves to taunt me and take it's own sweet time ovulating, so we are still on the "hump like rabbits" train.

Today my H & I met up at our house for lunch and got it on. Aww yes.

Here is my chart so far this month. I'm hoping we've timed things right, and that I get a temp rise tomorrow morning. *crosses fingers for O*

so I do this thing...

where I get all CRAZY analyzing my chart during the 2ww. I post here like a mad woman & then when AF shows, I abandon my blog.

sorry.

I am taking a vow to not obsess over my post-O temps this time around - as really they are not always that indicative of being KU or not.

It was my 1st cycle TTC after our miscarriage. So I was a little nutty.

Moving on...

today is CD11.

i gave in.

so bad, I know. But when you have $1 tests, it's really hard to refrain from just peeing on them. "It's only a dollar..."


BFN.

Meh - to be expected. I'm not giving up hope. It's still early. My overlay chart still looks good, and even though I had a temp drop this morning - my temps are still looking high.

I have no symptoms though. Not even a sore boob. BLAH.

overlay obsession

another high temp today. I feel like these 2 cycles are looking SOOO much alike...! GAH!

hide the pee sticks.

hide 'em all.

Because I don't know how the eff I will hold out until this weekend to pee.

It's not just the high temps that are making me crazy, but it's the fact that the past 2 nights I've had to get up to pee in the middle of the night...which for me...NEVER HAPPENS. EVER.

Except for when I was KTFU. So yea, that is screwing with my already fragile 2ww mind.

Here is today's chart:

crazy, obsessive 2ww birthday lady.

yep that's me! Today is my Birthday. woot woot.

The chart is looking better. Here is my daily whoring of the chart so you can all see how lovely my temps have been lately. Followed by the traditional over-analytic psycho analysis that is ever so present with the 2ww.

(FF.com gave me a free VIP 5 day trial today. They must have totally decided to do it as a bday gift. Right.)


I like the looks of the dip yesterday. Implantation perhaps? Hmmm...

If we compare to my last BFP cycle, they are looking mighty similar...dip & all. Here is the overlay:

Houstin, we have crosshairs.

woot WOOT!!

It's about damn time. Just seeing those red lines is glorious. Makes me realize that my body is not broken after my miscarriage. I am so thankful for this. I really needed it.

Now all I need to do is not go bat-shit-crazy during this 2ww. That's going to be hard. I don't know many women that remain sane during the 2ww. *sigh*

still no crosshairs.

my chart can go DIAF.

SOOO frustrated w/ my chart.

I cannot get a temp rise for the life of me. I'm pretty much done with this cycle. The stress of TTC is just out of control. It's now causing tension between me & DH.


Why do I have a feeling that getting pg again is going to take FOREVER for me? It's not going to happen right away. I just have a feeling. I'm so over this.

all about the O.

well, it's that time. The time where I get pee & temp crazy. This weekend I started to get some EWCM and started peeing on some OPK's. Lo & behold I think I should be O'ing soon, if not today. I will admit that my chart confuses the F outta me right now. I feel like I should have O'ed already and to be honest, I wish I had because having sex all the time makes this woman TIRED.

back to temping.

I was impressed with myself that I remembered the temp this morning. It feels so weird to be doing it again. But here I am. 96.8 today.

I realize that this could take a while, but I am placing an unhealthy amount of hope that we will get KU right away. This is not good. I know this. I am not sure what I will do if this cycle comes & goes and I don't get a BFP. Crazy talk. I know. But this miscarriage has left me feeling so empty - I cannot help but feel this way. Argh.

OMG OMG OMG!!! BFP!!! B-F'ING-P!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE THIS!!!

Last night I told myself that if I had another high temp this morning, I would POAS. Today is 12dpo and I figured it was well within a reasonable range for me to test.

So I had a VIVID dream last night that I took a test & 2 lines appeared. Meh, whatever. Took my temp this morning - 97.70. Not insanely high, but also not very low. I thought I would be all psyched to wake up & test. Nope! Totally relaxed. Went right back to sleep. Woke up a bit later having to pee like a MOFO and decided I would try out a Dollar Tree test.

I go in the bathroom and pee in a cup, take the test & place it on the counter. I brush my teeth & DH walks in before leaving for work to give me a hug. I start hugging him (still half asleep at this point). He tells me he's headed off to work. Ok, love you, bye.

I turn around, look at the pee-stick and see the faintest of faintest of a line:


me: "Ummm. H? Is that a LINE??"
him: "Uhhh where? Gee, I don't know...what does that mean if it is?"
me: "Ummm it means I MIGHT BE PREGNANT!!"

*runs over to the cabinet & rips opens FRER test* (thank GOD I kept the pee in the cup and didn't dump it out!)

I took that test, ran downstairs to grab my camera. DH let me do my thing. As soon as I came back upstairs with my camera, THERE IT WAS!! The most beautiful, gorgeous line I've ever seen in my life. Clear as day: (in person, not as clear in these pics!)

And another more clear pic:

I ran to the top of the stairs, screamed my H's name and began sobbing, yelling "I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

We are both just so unbelievably excited right now. I cannot believe this. I had every reason to think this cycle was a total bust. The ONLY thing different is that my boobs are sore in a different spot (underside instead of on the side like usual).

It's only a line on a test, and already I'm so in love. *swoon*

11dpo.

small temp drop this morning.


still doing good holding off on my urge to POAS. Definitely have some sore boobs & a little skin breakout but nothing too major. I've given up trying to tell if these are signs of AF or not.

I suppose if my temp rises tomorrow I will POAS. Otherwise I will fully expect to have AF come on Wed or Thursday.

my pretty chart

well, I think it's puuurty right now. I'm 10DPO and woke up to a lovely high temp this morning (slightly high I guess).


If you're wondering what happened to that GINORMOUS temp spike a few weeks ago, in the middle of my chart (almost 100 degrees!) - I ended up discarding it. It was nothing significant (wasn't around O time) and honestly I think it was just a fluke. It was making my chart really annoying to look at and hard to see the difference between all the temps. So I still have that temp recorded, but it's marked as discarded for now!

It's funny. I'm actually not feeling inclined to POAS right now. I know that my chart looks good, but I also know I'm only 10DPO and it's super early. I also know that with my luck AF will be here in a few days. My boobs are already starting to get sore. There was a small dip a few days past O but I don't think it could have been an implantation dip. *sigh*.

So I will try to resist any urges that might appear within the next few days to POAS. Wish me luck!

we have CROSSHAIRS!!

oh yes. yes yes yes. it's about damn time!


not sure if it's the prettiest chart. but I'll take it. (I feel like my temps have a freakishly low level for the most part. vampire perhaps?)

I've officially entered the 2WW. Bring on the craziness.

please, for the sake of my cooter.

please PLEASE ovulate!!

I realize this is my 1st month temping - and I'm supposed to really "figure out" how my body is working. But godammit why does this cycle have to toy with me? Last month my cycle was a lovely 30 days. Right now I'm already on CD22 and still no sign of O. 2 positive OPK's - LOTS of sex. I'm TIRED. (and so are my lady bits!)

I want to go home & go to bed. WITHOUT having sex. sooo tired.

mempphh.